I am worried. I am very worried about something. I am worried about emails, texts and facebook. I am worried that people say things to each other electronically that should not be said\sent. Result - potential catastrophic relational breakdown.
A friend of mine told me recently he had an email from his wife of 24 years telling him their marriage was over - she had met someone else. By email!
I have too many friends emotionally limping after discovering something someone has said about them on facebook. On facebook. For others to see! Cyber slander.
Apparently, 60% of relationships are broken off by text now in the UK. By text! No meeting. No teary eyed parting. No chance to talk it over or even heal the relationship.
Emails, texts and facebook are fine for communicating information but not so good for communicating thoughts and feelings. When something important needs to be said - say it. Sit together and talk about it. See the facial expression, hear the tone of voice, watch the body language, get the full picture.
Essex police have a no email on Wednesday policy; Bill Gore of Gore-Tex discourages emails and even phone conversations, preferring face-face meetings which he says increases relational working and resultant productivity.
Let's meet. Let's talk. Let's look each other in the eye. It's better that way.
3 comments:
I beg to differ in opinion. I personally find writing my thoughts and feelings very theraputic. Also in doing so, a taboo has been removed and I have received many emails personally thanking me for talking about PTSD, DID and my emotional journey. For one it has 'encouraged' others who feel they are alone in their troubles, secondly, it makes people feel 'normal' when they know that they are not alone which in turn helps them to feel 'supported'. Whilst emailing and publically blogging thoughts and feelings can by no means replace the face to face meeting you are talking about, it does have a place of value.
In addition, the friend in question who is 'limping' because of an email. Has it crossed your mind that that said person may not be at all approachable and when approached previously has not listened or even had the capacity to think they could be imperfect?
It would be nice to think that we could all do as the New Testament suggested, however, if it really was that easy, maybe Godly confrontation wouldn't have been taught/suggested in the first place.
I think people should NOT air there disagreements in public. I think it leads to hurt, upsetting and discouraging people. If peole have grievences they should maybe write them in a letter and post them to the other person.
I agree Mark, particularly with regard to using public environments such as FaceBook to raise private issues between people. I suppose the only upside is that if you are the subject of what is written you can at least see who is saying it, unlike gossip which is most often hidden and shady. I think there might occasionally be a use for email in circumstances where someone wants to honestly and sensitively address an issue but the other person is unapproachable or intimidating. Even then it would be best to ask for a face-to-face and take someone with you (Matthew 18:15-17)
http://www.facebook.com/Paulandrewrobinson?v=app_2347471856#!/note.php?note_id=437670733901
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