What I learnt having a refugee to stay.

We were not sure how long he would stay. "Let's see how it goes", social workers said. He arrived from Dover (in the back of a vegetable lorry) with a plastic bag - all he had. He was tired and truamatised. He had a stab wound. He came from a war torn country to a better life. A safe place. He spoke a litte English. He said he was 17. What I learnt was, he was not 17. Many say that to get benefits and access to state help - free health care, somewhere to live, pocket money. He was actually 24 (we discovered later). He lived a lie. He stayed in our spare room. Social Services were very good. They supported him, came with an interpreter, visted often, explained what was going on, why he couldn't work. He was no trouble. He was respectful, well presented, clean and tidy. I learnt about his family (his father had 3 wives), his culture, ("Why you always in the kitchen Mr Mark? In my country women in kitchen."), his frustration at the slow legal system (he wanted Right to Remain and to work). I learnt he wanted to be with his own people. To speak his language. He found them in town and visited them often. He always came home on time. I learnt to be patient. Non judgemental. Lower my expectations. Just wait. I learnt a lot going to court with him ("We are not interested in your opinion Mr Landreth-Smith. We are interested in the facts".). He stayed for one year. And then the letter came...5 days to leave the country. I was told to hand him over to Border Agency at Heathrow. He packed his bags, bought gifts for his family, was given £2,000 as an incentive to leave and off we went. He was quiet. We hugged. He flew home. He keeps in touch on Facebook. He returned to his family. Got married. Got a job. I learnt a lot.